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Sunscreen

I love the 70's!!! (thanks patti)

Last weekend I put an exhaust fan in the ceiling for my wife's grandfather. While my wife's brother and I were fitting the fan in between the joists, we found something under the insulation. What we found was this:



A JC Penney catalog from 1977. It's not often blog fodder just falls in my lap, but holy hell this was two solid inches of it, right there for the taking. I thumbed through it quickly and found my next dining room set, which is apparently made by adding upholstery to old barrels:



Also, I am totally getting this for my bathroom:



There's plenty more home furnishings where those came from, however I'm not going to bore you with that. Instead, I'm going to bore you with something else. The clothes.

The clothes are fantastic.

Here's how to get your butt kicked in elementary school:



Just look at that belt. It's like a boob-job for your pants. He probably needed help just to lift it into place. The belt loops have to be three inches long. And way to pull them up to your armpits, grandpa.

Here's how to get your butt kicked in high school:



This kid looks like he's pretending to be David Soul, who is pretending to be a cop who is pretending to be a pimp that everyone knows is really an undercover cop. Who is pretending to be 15.

Here's how to get your butt kicked on the golf course:



This "all purpose jumpsuit" is, according to the description, equally appropriate for playing golf or simply relaxing around the house. Personally, I can't see wearing this unless you happen to be relaxing around your cell in D-block. Even then, the only reason you should put this thing on is because the warden made you, and as a one-piece.

Here's how to get your butt kicked pretty much anywhere:



If you look at that picture quickly, it looks like Mr. Bob "No-pants" Saget has his hand in the other guy's pocket. In this case, he doesn't, although you can tell just by looking at them that it's happened - or if it hasn't happened it will. Oh yes. It will. As soon as he puts down his matching coffee cup.

Here's how to get your butt kicked at the beach:



He looks like he's reaching for a gun, but you know it's probably just a bottle of suntan lotion in a holster.

How to get your butt kicked in a meeting:



If you wear this suit and don't sell used cars for a living, I believe you can be fined and face serious repercussions, up to and including termination. Or imprisonment, in which case you'd be forced to wear that orange jumpsuit.

How to get your butt kicked on every day up to and including St. Patrick's Day



Dear god in heaven, I don't believe that color exists in nature. There is NO excuse for wearing either of these ensembles unless you're working as a body guard for the Lucky Charms leprechaun.

In this next one, Your Search For VALUE Ends at Penneys.



As does your search for chest hair.

And this -- Seriously. No words.



Oh wait, it turns out that there are words after all. Those words are What. The. H*** . I'm guessing the snap front gives you quick access to the chest hair. The little tie must be the pull tab.

Also, judging by the sheer amount of matching his/hers outfits, I'm guessing that in 1977 it was considered pretty stylish for couples to dress alike. These couples look happy, don't they?





I am especially fond of this one, which I have entitled "Cowboy Chachi Loves You Best."



And nothing showcases your everlasting love more than the commitment of matching bathing suits. That, and a blonde girl with a look on her face that says "I love the way your junk fights against that fabric."



Then, after the lovin', you can relax in your one-piece matching terry cloth jumpsuits:



I could go on, but I'm tired, and my eyes hurt from this trip back in time. I think it's the colors. That said, I will leave you with these tasteful little numbers:



Man, that's sexy.

Nina Simone - Ain't Got No...I've Got Life

cause sometimes we forget what we do have.

Deck the halls.....

"Now bring us some figgy pudding, now bring us some figgy pudding , now bring us some figgy pudding and bring it right hear"

Uhhh, you've got to call ahead for figgy pudding!!!

Walk It Out, Fosse

ohh thats that new hot-ness!!! Fosse is like Fire!!!

trials and tribulations...

Don’t ask me what that shit means, if you don’t know by now, you never will is what I want to say to him, ignorant lil bitch ass, but politely I explained like you would to a bad ass 4 yr old.

I left my heart...

I miss San Francisco. I miss the weather....gorgeous (except that month where it rained non-stop) I miss seeing the earth rotate (in reality it was just the clouds moving) I miss the morning fog that sits on the city like a blanket. I miss the Mission. I miss my school's view, brilliant! I miss the Mandarin, best veggies (and most costly) I miss the bay bridge, although I'm glad I missed that freak accident. I miss TeaCake in Emeryville, I miss Golden Gate. I miss the Oakland Zoo. I miss that yummy teashop off Piedmont street where they had the delicious Tiramisu. I miss Big City and those wide eyed kids. I miss Mollie Stone's individual bread puddings. I miss the Fillmore, the noise the grime the Saturday farmers markets. I miss Friday night concerts with the complex. I miss SFMOMA and 49 Geary. I miss my gym and their heated towels, and the smiling cutie at the front desk. I miss that yummy patisserie, I miss my crepes. I miss San Francisco.

Gary Gulman

If you're gonna jingle, jingle all the way!

The one with Ross' Library Book...

rachel: I guess it wasn't cupid who brought her here.
phoebe: No, just a regular flying dwarf.

Sans Soleil

History only taste better to those who expected it to be sugar coated.

on friendship...

Anais Nin wrote:


"each friend represents a world in us,
a world possibly not born until they arrive."

On music...

Here's the thing about music...It can validate you and your existence. Recently I've had that awesome pleasure to find a song I haven't heard in a long time, and instantly revert to the emotion of a three year old getting a pony for her birthday....I was completely and uncontrollably giddy. I loved it. Only music has that kind of power (sure the pony would have been comparable) but its music that can take our highs even higher....(unfortunately the reverse is also true) I love music...Earth, wind and fire sang out loud....any kind of music. I can recall one of my most perfect evenings...I was in NYC with MAI gurl and we had the immense pleasure of experiencing music, live music, that changed us for the rest of the evening(or shall I say morning). We left floating home...our feet didn't hit the ground all because of music. Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, it should be life liberty and the pursuit of good music cause that my friends, is the way to true happiness!

on regret...

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.

Courtesy of the Sonic Commercial...

okay...may I sub-respond before you finish?

Marriage

I want a marriage like Rev. Run, filled with love, laughter and just plain old silliness!

proposed conversation...

Honestly, I'm a fuckin' mess, I just have enough duct tape to keep it all contained.

bedtime

When do birds go to bed? I saw one around 1:45 in the morning (I know, why was I up...) do they sleep or do they just wander around much like people when bored?

QE2: A Visit from a Nice Old Lady

George Bush: "She gave me a look a mother would give a child"
Jon Stewart: "She did give that look except 'The Mother' is the Queen of England and 'The Child' is the President of the United States."

All-Bran Commercial...

Fiber, fiber...Bill, he's part fiber...( he says with fiber glasses on)

How I met your Mother

Marshall: we thought of authentic Native American headdress before we thought of hat.

nice!

"Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me. I lift my lamp beside the golden door." The Statue of Liberty (P.S. Please be so kind as to enter through the proper channels and in an orderly fashion)

taken from: arlingtonian.blogspot.com

Deep House Dish...

Oooo weeee T-Shane, that did not go that well out here as it did in there (and points to his head)

thats just silly....

what john stewert says...

What decent patriotic American won't support 'Glory Goals'?

well said sir, well said.

in regards to dealing with boys

m: i'm totally on the bench. i'm not even in the game anymore.. or at least until further notice

me: Im in the locker room changing to go home

funny...

So I got this email today after a kind of crummy afternoon...needless to say it brightened my spirits.






Funny!!